The nation was transfixed earlier this week by Marlins Cat, the feral monster that broke into Marlins Park and attempted to eat the monstrous 20-foot spinning ceramic swordfish in center field. Play was stopped while officials chased the beast down, and order was restored.
But, say, whatever happened to the cat?
Awesome. Best of luck, my feathered friend.
Here is my advice to everyone reading: If you absolutely must adopt a feral cat, please give us continual updates about how it is ruining your clothes/furniture/sanity. It takes an indescribable amount of patience to un-feral a cat — as much as that’s even possible — and it’s certainly not for everyone.
However, this is Marlins Cat, and he or she deserves this home. Good work turning a trespassing violation into free food for the rest of your life, cat. You are an inspiration.
and i’m still pretty sure it should be named …
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